Relationship issues between spouses, parents and children, step-parents, partners, roommates, landlords and tenants, the elderly and their caretakers; and all other relationship conflicts are painful and difficult to resolve. Often, especially in the case of separation and divorce, those involved are unaware of any alternative to their dilemma except to go through the court system, either with the assistance of attorneys or by searching the web and other resources for self-help documents and information. Either route is fraught with difficulties, long time delays, expense and confusion, while the emotional situation continues to escalate. There is another alternative: Mediation.
I have been a divorce litigator for over 32 years of my 42 year legal career. I have watched marriages and other relationships end in vicious court battles. People who used to love each other become bitter enemies. Secrets, once shared in confidence, are hurled against each other in a public forum. Litigation focuses on the pain and anguish of those in conflict and there is little hope of maintaining a post-litigation relationship. Relationships do not have to end this way. They can end with dignity! There are virtually no issues between parties that cannot be resolved through the process of mediation or settlement facilitation.
Mediation, as defined by statute in New Mexico, means â?œa process in which a mediator facilitates communication and negotiation between mediation parties to assist them in reaching an agreement regarding their dispute; or promotes reconciliation, settlement or understanding between and among parties.
There are many formats for mediation; however the most traditional is to have a neutral, trained person facilitate discussion between opposing parties to help them reach mutually satisfactory decisions. The process is voluntary, confidential, informal and empowering. The decisions that are reached are made by the persons involved, not the mediator and certainly not a Judge, jury or an arbitrator! The mediator's role is to keep the process safe, nurturing and positive.
I have been a certified Mediator, trained by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, of which I am a Fellow, since 1996, and have conducted countless mediations since that time. I am the only member of the Association of Attorney-Mediators in the State of New Mexico, and am a member of the New Mexico Mediation Association.
I would be happy to meet with you and answer any questions about the process.
Barbara Anne Kazen
Photo Credit: Dennis McKenzie